100 reasons it's great to be a guy

 

> > > > > 1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

> > > > > 2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.

> > > > > 3. You know stuff about tanks.

> > > > > 4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.

> > > > > 5. Monday Night Football.

> > > > > 6. You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives.

> > > > > 7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.

> > > > > 8. You can open all your own jars.

> > > > > 9. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained

> > > weight.

> > > > > 10. Dry cleaners and haircutter's don't rob you blind.

> > > > > 11. When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall

> on

> > > > > every shot of someone crying.

> > > > > 12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

> > > > > 13. All your orgasms are real.

> > > > > 14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite

> sex.

> > > > > 15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.

> > > > > 16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around

> everywhere

> > > > you go.

> > > > > 17. You understand why Stripes is funny.

> > > > > 18. You can go to the bathroom with out a support group.

> > > > > 19. Your last name stays put.

> > > > > 20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.

> > > > > 21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that

> > > > > everyone secretly hates you.

> > > > > 22. You can kill your own food.

> > > > > 23. The garage is all yours.

> > > > > 24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of

> thoughtfulness.

> > > > > 25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.

> > > > > 26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.

> > > > > 27. You never have to clean the toilet.

> > > > > 28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.

> > > > > 29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.

> > > > > 30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

> > > > > 31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she

> can

> > > > still be you friend.

> > > > > 32. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.

> > > > > 33. The National College Cheerleading Championship

> > > > > 34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.

> > > > > 35. You don't have to shave below your neck.

> > > > > 36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite.

> > > > > 37. If your 34 and single nobody notices.

> > > > > 38. You can write your name in the snow.

> > > > > 39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.

> > > > > 40. Everything on your face stays its original color.

> > > > > 41. Chocolate is just another snack.

> > > > > 42. You can be president.

> > > > > 43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.

> > > > > 44. Flowers fix everything.

> > > > > 45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.

> > > > > 46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.

> > > > > 47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

> > > > > 48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.

> > > > > 49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.

> > > > > 50. You can say anything and not worry about what people

> think.

> > > > > 51. Foreplay is optional.

> > > > > 52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.

> > > > > 53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into

> the

> > > > > room.

> > > > > 54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.

> > > > > 55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader

> is

> > > > > coming by.

> > > > > 56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.

> > > > > 57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

> > > > > 58. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new

> > > haircut.

> > > > > 59. You can watch a game in silence with you buddy for hours

> > > without

> > > > > even thinking (He must be mad at me)

> > > > > 60. The world is your urinal.

> > > > > 61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your

> lover

> > > is about to leave you.

> > > > > 62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.

> > > > > 63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

> > > > > 64. One mood, all the time.

> > > > > 65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to

> > > look like him.

> > > > > 66. You never have to drive to another gas station because

> this

> > > > one's just to skeevy.

> > > > > 67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.

> > > > > 68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are

> > > > wearing.

> > > > > 69. Same work....more pay.

> > > > > 70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.

> > > > > 71. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency

> crotch

> > > > > adjustment.

> > > > > 72. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

> > > > > 73. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your

> > > back.

> > > > > 74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the

> earth's

> > > > > population in 15 tries, at least in theory.

> > > > > 75. You don't mooch off others' desserts.

> > > > > 76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

> > > > > 77. The remote is yours and yours alone.

> > > > > 78. People never glance at your chest when your talking to

> them.

> > > > > 79. ESPN's sports center.

> > > > > 80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little

> > > gift.

> > > > > 81. Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.

> > > > > 82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your

> mother.

> > > > > 83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you

> > > naked.

> > > > > 84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the

> > > > bathroom.

> > > > > 85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he

> won't

> > > > tell your friends you've changed.

> > > > > 86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.

> > > > > 87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase

> "F*#k

> > > > it!"

> > > > > 88. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit,

> you

> > > > might become lifelong buddies.

> > > > > 89. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.

> > > > > 90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically

> expected.

> > > > > 91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because your

> not

> > > in the mood.

> > > > > 92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.

> > > > > 93. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with

> a

> > > > hammer and throw it across the room.

> > > > > 94. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

> > > > > 95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.

> > > > > 96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and

> > > > anniversaries.

> > > > > 97. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex

> with

> > > > them.

> > > > > 98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...

> notice

> > > > > anything different?"

> > > > > 99. Baywatch

> > > > > 100. There is always a game on somewhere.

 

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